I wanted to share something that my friend, Chris- wrote to me a couple of weeks ago. I asked him if he would write me something for my blog as a sort of, "guest post" and here is what he came up with. It's probably one of the most heartfelt things any of my friends have ever said to me- it makes me happy to know I have a friend like Chris. We've only known each other just over two years but I can safely say that he is one of my guy-best friends. As you can tell, I have educated him well on diabetes. He has always been interested about it and wanted to learn more for his, and for my sake and for that I will be forever grateful. I'm so glad to have a friend like him.
Thanks Chris!
I haven't known you for a huge amount of time, but we first met, properly on December 3rd 2011 which makes it about 714 days I think. I still remember, really well, when you told me you have diabetes and you were so careful about it. You acted as if I was going to run away and never speak to you again which is just crazy! From then on we started talking about diabetes and jut generally about you. I used to come up with these random pieces of information (If you can even call them that) about diabetes and then you would politely tell me jut how wrong Ii was, even though it was probably killing you inside that I'm so dumb. But yeah, you're probably going to want to fry me because of what I'm going to say, but I used to think that Type 1 and Type 2 were the same but Type 1 diabetics only went high and Type 2 diabetic only went low...Yeah, I was an idiot!
It's actually ridiculous how little people know about diabetes. Almost everybody knows at least something about cancer or some other diseases and illnesses, but so many people know nothing or are completely misinformed about diabetes- which is even worse because it is such a dangerous and common disease. All it takes is one parent who knows nothing about the symptoms of diabetes and then there's another child stuck in A&E because there is so little 'in-your-face' information about it. But anyway, back to you! After like three or four months you had crawled your way up my rankings and now you're one of my best friends and easily my girl best-friend. I can talk to you about anything and literally cannot imagine not knowing you...I like to think that I at least know more than the average person does about diabetes or at the very least I know about the informational side of it. I'm probably never going to know about the mental or emotional side of it and I hope I never will.
You talk to me about, and occasionally I see the thing that you do day in and day out and I don't think I could ever do that. I admire you, and though I hate to admit it (:P) I look up to how you can be so mature and adult about it all and not just go crazy. The other day, especially I was sitting on the bus thinking about school and how overloaded with work I was, then you came into my head and it jut seemed impossible- like, the masses of work you must get and then the addition of possible crazy blood sugars interrupting you every time you start working. Just, how?!
Obviously, you're not the only person in the world who deals with this but you're the only person Ii know and you're the best! The sad part of all of this is the frustration that comes with being friends with you. The fact that I want to take all of the stress and pressure diabetes causes you even if it's just for an hour, but knowing that no matter what I try that won't be possible. From a non-diabetic's point of view this is one of the worst things. At least everyone knows of a diabetic, whether it be a good friend, a parent, or a child- this must be how they feel to know that someone they love is, not necessarily in trouble but going in and out of hard times and being unable to help, where all you can do is sit by and say "It will get better" and "You're doing great" Etc; despite the fact that it's impossible to empathize.
You know I hate being serious and if it were up to me I'd live in a dream land where I can joke about all the time because there would be no serious matters to deal with. Anway, FUTURE TIMES. I really want to know you forever, and ever, you've become one of my best friends in like, a year. I'm even better friends with you that some people that I've known for like 12 years. I feel like I can talk to you about pretty much anything. I actually got proper worried every time (Only three times, thrice?) that you've gone into hospital because I just have no clue whether you're okay, or if, this is the depressing bit, the last time I spoke to you will be the last time I ever get to talk to you. I genuinely want to be friends with you forever, and not if, but WHEN they find a cure whether that's next year or on your 101st birthday I want to be there with you because I can imagine how happy you will be...I just had a vision of a 101 year old you skipping and laughing down the road with a party hat on your head! I genuinely don't know what my life would be like if I had never met you.
Love ya Ellie!<3
Saturday, 30 November 2013
Monday, 25 November 2013
Back to injections?
I just suddenly felt this motivation to actually do this. So I've been thinking for a long time about coming off of my pump and going back to injecting and I have decided that is what I want to do. It's odd how much more motivated I feel to do an injection than bolus...I'm not sure why but I do. Plus, I'm more aware of what I'm doing on injections- if I did what I do now on injections I'd be constantly "HI" I know that my basal insulin is what keeps me going through out the day and that's not good and I can't rely on the pump like I do any more. I just feel like it would be better for me to come off of it and inject again.
These are just a couple of photos from tonight. I had to take photos because the BG levels excited me so much. Ha ha. You can see how many calculations I did tonight to try to get this right. I'm hoping this isn't a short "burst" of motivation and that I actually keep at it. I want a good Hba1c so badly.
Anyway, this evening I came home and I thought "Why don't I try it out. Sort of like, a trial run with using the insulin pen?" So I got out a brand new cartridge of Novorapid, got my insulin pen out and set it up- next I worked out the correction dose and actually remembered how to calculate carbohydrate coverage and do the corrections. I even double checked them on my pump and they worked out the same. I made my target BG with the insulin pen 6.5 mmols just to trial it and things actually worked out! I used the pen to give insulin at dinner, do a couple of corrections and cover a biscuit, and came out with an 11 right after dinner, then a 9.2 so did some correcting and it came down to 7.8, I had a biscuit so I covered that using the pen, then 7.4, 6.8 then 6.4! You have no idea how proud I was of myself! I did all the calculations, all the blood sugar testing and insulin dosages and my BG was fab. My blood sugar has been the best tonight than it has been for a long time.
Obviously, I didn't come off the pump completely because I was just testing things out tonight plus I don't have any levemir so my pump had to be my background insulin for this evening. I don't know I just feel so much more in control with injections too...like, I'm more aware of what I'm doing and actually having to do the calculations sort of motivates me more, if that makes any sense. You can see in the photo how many calculations I did. I even looked at what the Total Daily Insulin for the basal was on my pump and wanted to see if I could work it out the same with the pen- so I searched up how to do it and multiplied 0.55 by 68kg which is about my weight- and it came to 37, which is the same as my insulin pump. Also, I know that the background insulin dosage is about 50% of the TDI so I divided 37 by 2 and it came to 18...which is roughly what I used to do for my levemir, give or take a few units. But I'm not certain about that.
Anyway, I won't mess around with all of that because it's not certain and I don't want to muck things up. But, so far so good...the pen seems to be doing it's job just fine and I actually quite liked being back on the injections, even if it was just for a few hours. I feel like going back to injections would be as though I'm 'going back to basics' - just cutting it all down to the fine tuning of my blood sugar control and really working to do things right.
I was 5.9 before bed tonight and then it dropped to 5.0 so I just had a slice of bread and it got them up to a fabulous 6.5 as the bedtime test- which was the BG target that I set for myself earlier this evening!
But do you all see what I mean when I say that I get these bursts of motivation- but I'm really hoping that this isn't a short-term "burst" I'm really going to try to keep at it and hope it lasts. But now I just want to use my pen to do insulin and don't want to correct using the pump...hahah- but then I know my basal/bolus would be really atrocious because I wouldn't be using the pump to bolus- it would only be there as background insulin and for me to double-check the doses. Ugh, dilemma...!
I really really need to try my absolute hardest to do this right, for myself, my amazing parents, my family and for my diabetes team.
-Ellie
[Peace&Insulin]
Sunday, 24 November 2013
Anti-bullying week 2013
#AntiBullyingWeek2013
On Monday 18th November some other girls from our school went along to an anti-bullying conference in Canary Wharf hosted by the Diana Award- a charity that aims to encourage, engage and empower young people into taking a stand and standing up for what they believe in. The event saw over 400 young people from schools across the country come to take part in workshops run by celebrities to showcase our talents and gain the confidence that we need to be an anti-bullying ambassador from our school.
We did two workshops, one in the morning and one in the afternoon- my morning workshop was a dance class with Britain's Got Talent contestants Twist&Pulse, which was a lot of fun and they're both very funny. My afternoon workshop was music with Jordan O'Keefe, also a Britain's Got Talent contestant. His workshop was amazing- he taught us all the chorus of his new song, then we split into two groups and we had to write another verse for his song and Courtney, one of the girls I went with today sang it. Jordan was so impressed with us all that he decided to film our rehearsal and he said that he will put it on YouTube which is so cool! At the end of the day was a big showcase of all the workshops and the workshop leaders, being the celebrities, chose some kids from their groups- Jordan had two groups for music but he chose our group to go up and sing with him in the showcase which was so much fun. He is so lovely.
Other celebrities that were there included Will Poulter, Carrie Grant, Tony Discipline (Also known as Tyler from Eastenders), Vince Kidd who is a singer from The Voice UK, a rapper called 'Infecta', Tich who is a singer, and there were a couple of others, I think one was called Charlie Miller? He is an actor and a model, there was also an actress from Waterloo Road but I've forgotten her name. Darn.
Anyway it was so inspiring and literally so amazing. It basically taught us that we can do whatever we set our minds to, it really instils a sense of empowerment in young people and we really feel that we can make a change.
This is me and Jordan O'Keefe. I tried to insert the pictures
of me with 'Twist' from Twist and Pulse, and of me and Tony
Discipline but my computer doesn't like me tonight.
This whole 'You can do anything' stuff just really reminds me
of raising awareness for type one diabetes, like, nothing is
impossible- you can truly do anything you set your mind to, if
you are really passionate and you really, seriously commit yourself to doing something then there is no reason why you can't achieve your goal.
There was something that one of the primary school children said at the event which I found so so sweet so I'm going to share it with you all:
"Be brave, be bold and make sure you've told"
And to be honest I think that really applies to raising awareness too- be it diabetes, or something else. But stand up and speak out if you are truly passionate about something.
On instagram a couple of days ago a young girl commented on my photo and asked if I was at the event today, I replied and she said she also was- she was standing up to bullying because she is a type one diabetic and has been bullied for 4 years because of it. It frustrates me so much to hear that children and teenagers are being bullied because of diabetes. It's so terrible and people need to be educated and bullying needs to stop- not just for the unfortunate percentage of kids and teenagers with type one who get bullied- but for every child in the country, in the WORLD in fact. I'm fortunate enough to have never been bullied but I know and have heard of people who have and it needs to stop.
"Be the change you want to see in the world"
-Ghandi
-Ellie
[Peace&Insulin]
On Monday 18th November some other girls from our school went along to an anti-bullying conference in Canary Wharf hosted by the Diana Award- a charity that aims to encourage, engage and empower young people into taking a stand and standing up for what they believe in. The event saw over 400 young people from schools across the country come to take part in workshops run by celebrities to showcase our talents and gain the confidence that we need to be an anti-bullying ambassador from our school.
We did two workshops, one in the morning and one in the afternoon- my morning workshop was a dance class with Britain's Got Talent contestants Twist&Pulse, which was a lot of fun and they're both very funny. My afternoon workshop was music with Jordan O'Keefe, also a Britain's Got Talent contestant. His workshop was amazing- he taught us all the chorus of his new song, then we split into two groups and we had to write another verse for his song and Courtney, one of the girls I went with today sang it. Jordan was so impressed with us all that he decided to film our rehearsal and he said that he will put it on YouTube which is so cool! At the end of the day was a big showcase of all the workshops and the workshop leaders, being the celebrities, chose some kids from their groups- Jordan had two groups for music but he chose our group to go up and sing with him in the showcase which was so much fun. He is so lovely.
Other celebrities that were there included Will Poulter, Carrie Grant, Tony Discipline (Also known as Tyler from Eastenders), Vince Kidd who is a singer from The Voice UK, a rapper called 'Infecta', Tich who is a singer, and there were a couple of others, I think one was called Charlie Miller? He is an actor and a model, there was also an actress from Waterloo Road but I've forgotten her name. Darn.
Anyway it was so inspiring and literally so amazing. It basically taught us that we can do whatever we set our minds to, it really instils a sense of empowerment in young people and we really feel that we can make a change.
of me with 'Twist' from Twist and Pulse, and of me and Tony
Discipline but my computer doesn't like me tonight.
This whole 'You can do anything' stuff just really reminds me
of raising awareness for type one diabetes, like, nothing is
impossible- you can truly do anything you set your mind to, if
you are really passionate and you really, seriously commit yourself to doing something then there is no reason why you can't achieve your goal.
There was something that one of the primary school children said at the event which I found so so sweet so I'm going to share it with you all:
"Be brave, be bold and make sure you've told"
And to be honest I think that really applies to raising awareness too- be it diabetes, or something else. But stand up and speak out if you are truly passionate about something.
On instagram a couple of days ago a young girl commented on my photo and asked if I was at the event today, I replied and she said she also was- she was standing up to bullying because she is a type one diabetic and has been bullied for 4 years because of it. It frustrates me so much to hear that children and teenagers are being bullied because of diabetes. It's so terrible and people need to be educated and bullying needs to stop- not just for the unfortunate percentage of kids and teenagers with type one who get bullied- but for every child in the country, in the WORLD in fact. I'm fortunate enough to have never been bullied but I know and have heard of people who have and it needs to stop.
"Be the change you want to see in the world"
-Ghandi
-Ellie
[Peace&Insulin]
We can do it
You have lost faith in something, Moonchild. You have felt almost desperate about something that hasn't manifested in your life. You have, perhaps pleaded with the powers-that-be for assistance, but you are feeling abandoned or forgotten. It is hard to summon faith when you feel that no one is even listening to you. But you must. While there may be no obvious explanation for the way things are, there is a design to your current situation, and it will get better. Don't lose hope, and don't lose faith, Moonchild.
I love the horoscope that I got today. It's so accurate it's rather creepy- but cool all the same. It actually really is how I'm feeling. I have lost faith, I've lost faith in getting back into control with my diabetes, not for long. But for now, I feel stuck.
I have no idea how I will get things back in line again, but I will do it- somehow, soon. With the help of my parents, family and friends- I'll get there.
Maybe, the way I'm struggling with diabetes now, might be the very thing that makes me come back even stronger.
Maybe, it will make me even more determined not to fall back into the way I am now.
And like the horoscope says- YES- yes I have felt almost desperate about something that hasn't manifested in my life- and that's control over my diabetes.
And just as my amazing mum said to me today- "Come on, we're going to do this. No excuses- we can do it!" That's love. I know for a fact that my parents and my family and friends have my back and they always will do no matter what.
We can do it.
I know I will get back into control and it will get better.
I won't lose hope, and I won't lose faith.
-Ellie
[Peace&Insulin]
Wednesday, 20 November 2013
Thoughts
I had my hospital appointment yesterday, and my Hhba1c is 12%.
I've finished mentally beating myself up about it...I did all that on the train home yesterday when I decided to sit quietly and listen to my music because I just wanted to scream because I felt so so frustrated.
My Hba1c being high doesn't dishearten me, as such...but I do feel as though I let other people down more than myself, like my parents and my diabetes team- neither of them make me feel like this but I feel like it. I want a good Hba1c for myself, so I can be healthy, my diabetes team because they try and help me so much and sometimes I think I'm just throwing it back in their faces and for my parents mostly- because I know it will make them so so happy- I love them so much and their happiness is what matters most and they also try and help me so so much and I want to just be able to apply their help to my diabetes management- but I'm trying so hard and nothing is clicking.
I know what can happen if I don't do what I'm supposed to, I know what I'm supposed to do, but whether or not I do it is another story. I always wonder why it doesn't all register as it should, though...I think "Ok Ellie, today I will do this right" then lunch will roll around and it will all go out of the window. Needles and blood sugar testing and carbohydrate counting are not things that I grew up with- I lived the first eleven years of my life with out diabetes and obviously I expected my life to stay that way and it didn't. It's not as though I'm in denial about it because I accept what I have and I knew I was going to have to learn to live with it, but this whole routine with diabetes is something you're thrown into from the day you're diagnosed. It's not as easy as it seems to conform to a totally new lifestyle- especially something like the fact that what I have to do each and every day is what keeps me alive.
I really want to stay positive about it but at certain times I can feel overwhelmed by the fact that I need to get it together because it's my life until there is a cure. It's all up to me, my parents and family and friends and diabetes team can help me but at the end of the day, it's my diabetes and I know ultimate control lies in my hands and it's a big thing to acknowledge. I wish I could control my mind with some sort of remote, my mind has a mind of it's own...or if only someone could step into my mind and properly understand because I can say all of this to people but I think "I can try and explain how I'm feeling but I'm afraid people might think I'm just being lazy and that it takes a stupid person not to look after their diabetes" No one has ever implied that to me, but I know the general opinion on people who have bad control over their blood sugar is that they're "lazy" - but people don't get that it's actually really hard to do all of this.
I tend to hide the fact that I struggle and I always do a nervous laugh in clinic even when nothing is even funny because if I didn't do that I'd probably have nothing else better but to scream in frustration and say to myself over and over "WHY haven't I got the hang of this yet".
-Ellie
[Peace&Insulin]
I've finished mentally beating myself up about it...I did all that on the train home yesterday when I decided to sit quietly and listen to my music because I just wanted to scream because I felt so so frustrated.
My Hba1c being high doesn't dishearten me, as such...but I do feel as though I let other people down more than myself, like my parents and my diabetes team- neither of them make me feel like this but I feel like it. I want a good Hba1c for myself, so I can be healthy, my diabetes team because they try and help me so much and sometimes I think I'm just throwing it back in their faces and for my parents mostly- because I know it will make them so so happy- I love them so much and their happiness is what matters most and they also try and help me so so much and I want to just be able to apply their help to my diabetes management- but I'm trying so hard and nothing is clicking.
I know what can happen if I don't do what I'm supposed to, I know what I'm supposed to do, but whether or not I do it is another story. I always wonder why it doesn't all register as it should, though...I think "Ok Ellie, today I will do this right" then lunch will roll around and it will all go out of the window. Needles and blood sugar testing and carbohydrate counting are not things that I grew up with- I lived the first eleven years of my life with out diabetes and obviously I expected my life to stay that way and it didn't. It's not as though I'm in denial about it because I accept what I have and I knew I was going to have to learn to live with it, but this whole routine with diabetes is something you're thrown into from the day you're diagnosed. It's not as easy as it seems to conform to a totally new lifestyle- especially something like the fact that what I have to do each and every day is what keeps me alive.
I really want to stay positive about it but at certain times I can feel overwhelmed by the fact that I need to get it together because it's my life until there is a cure. It's all up to me, my parents and family and friends and diabetes team can help me but at the end of the day, it's my diabetes and I know ultimate control lies in my hands and it's a big thing to acknowledge. I wish I could control my mind with some sort of remote, my mind has a mind of it's own...or if only someone could step into my mind and properly understand because I can say all of this to people but I think "I can try and explain how I'm feeling but I'm afraid people might think I'm just being lazy and that it takes a stupid person not to look after their diabetes" No one has ever implied that to me, but I know the general opinion on people who have bad control over their blood sugar is that they're "lazy" - but people don't get that it's actually really hard to do all of this.
I tend to hide the fact that I struggle and I always do a nervous laugh in clinic even when nothing is even funny because if I didn't do that I'd probably have nothing else better but to scream in frustration and say to myself over and over "WHY haven't I got the hang of this yet".
-Ellie
[Peace&Insulin]
Saturday, 16 November 2013
World Diabetes Day 2013
I know I'm slightly late with my World Diabetes Day blog post...I've just been super busy with sixth form....and falling asleep on the sofa in the evenings. he he.
Anyway so as we all may or may not know it was World Diabetes Day on November 14th- or better known to those who use twitter as #WDD. It's the day that diabetics from all over the world come together and fundraise and raise awareness for diabetes. WDD falls on the birthday of Frederick Banting- the man who 90 years ago...became the reason that type one diabetes is no longer a death sentence. He is the very reason why I am still here able to fight this disease- he is the very reason why ALL of us diabetics are still here.
Isn't that amazing?
How one man literally saved so many lives, in his time and in the future- all of ours.
So before I continue this post, Happy belated birthday Sir Frederick Banting.
On Thursday I of course, went to sixth form wearing my JDRF shirt. I was sitting in the common room and then a girl from my year came in wearing a blue hoodie and said "I'm wearing blue for Ellie!" One small gesture like that made my day- it cheered me up and distracted me from the fact that I had dropped my phone in water that morning and it was out of action for the day.
I didn't really promote the day that much in school because I just didn't have time, however I did post lots on facebook and twitter and it appears some of my friends paid attention to my post that stated "Wear blue for World Diabetes Day on November 14th!" which I was very happy about indeed.
I had no phone for the whole day so at school I asked my friend to use her phone to check twitter- I was checking the trends at 2 minute intervals- seriously. I wanted World Diabetes Day to trend so bad.
And guess what?!
It did!
I was so happy that I had to take a picture. Better yet, it was a worldwide trend- how cool is that? This was the first time I had seen it trend, it was so exciting.
Apart from all the amazing things people within the diabetic community were doing, famous landmarks and buildings were also busy lighting themselves up blue for world diabetes day.
Those are just a few examples of the buildings lit up. The London eye, The Blackpool tower, 10 Dowing Street, and to be honest I am not sure what the last one is but it's some sort of famous building.
It honestly touches my heart to see things like this, to see people coming together and uniting for diabetes. It's amazing. But more people still need to be made aware, most people still have no clue about diabetes and we need to educate them. We need to raise awareness and find a cure!
-Ellie
[Peace&Insulin]
Anyway so as we all may or may not know it was World Diabetes Day on November 14th- or better known to those who use twitter as #WDD. It's the day that diabetics from all over the world come together and fundraise and raise awareness for diabetes. WDD falls on the birthday of Frederick Banting- the man who 90 years ago...became the reason that type one diabetes is no longer a death sentence. He is the very reason why I am still here able to fight this disease- he is the very reason why ALL of us diabetics are still here.
Isn't that amazing?
How one man literally saved so many lives, in his time and in the future- all of ours.
So before I continue this post, Happy belated birthday Sir Frederick Banting.
On Thursday I of course, went to sixth form wearing my JDRF shirt. I was sitting in the common room and then a girl from my year came in wearing a blue hoodie and said "I'm wearing blue for Ellie!" One small gesture like that made my day- it cheered me up and distracted me from the fact that I had dropped my phone in water that morning and it was out of action for the day.
I didn't really promote the day that much in school because I just didn't have time, however I did post lots on facebook and twitter and it appears some of my friends paid attention to my post that stated "Wear blue for World Diabetes Day on November 14th!" which I was very happy about indeed.
I had no phone for the whole day so at school I asked my friend to use her phone to check twitter- I was checking the trends at 2 minute intervals- seriously. I wanted World Diabetes Day to trend so bad.
And guess what?!
It did!
I was so happy that I had to take a picture. Better yet, it was a worldwide trend- how cool is that? This was the first time I had seen it trend, it was so exciting.
Apart from all the amazing things people within the diabetic community were doing, famous landmarks and buildings were also busy lighting themselves up blue for world diabetes day.
Those are just a few examples of the buildings lit up. The London eye, The Blackpool tower, 10 Dowing Street, and to be honest I am not sure what the last one is but it's some sort of famous building.
It honestly touches my heart to see things like this, to see people coming together and uniting for diabetes. It's amazing. But more people still need to be made aware, most people still have no clue about diabetes and we need to educate them. We need to raise awareness and find a cure!
-Ellie
[Peace&Insulin]
Wednesday, 13 November 2013
Living with type one diabetes
What is it like being a type one diabetic? I can tell you it
is not easy. It is something that you will not understand unless you are type
one diabetic yourself. Type one diabetes follows me everywhere, it requires
constant attention 24/7 365 days a year, it requires daily injections of
insulin and/or infusion of insulin via an insulin pump- in conjunction with
multiple daily finger pricks to ensure that my blood sugar is at a safe range.
Type one diabetes is different to type two diabetes, my body does not produce
insulin, a type two diabetic’s body cannot utilise the insulin that their body
produces.
There is no known cause for type one diabetes; all that is
known is that the body’s immune system attacks the insulin-producing cells in
the pancreas and destroys them. And no, it is not caused by eating too much
sugar. Without insulin, a person will die. My body cannot keep my blood sugar
stable, and this is very dangerous. High blood sugar and low blood sugar are
something that have become integrated in my day to day life- shaking, feeling
thirsty, feeling tired, weak…exhausted, are all feelings I am all too familiar
with. The line between being perfectly ok and being dangerously ill is a very
fine one. High and low blood sugars are
treatable if caught early enough; but both can lead to a coma and/or death if
left untreated.
I have been hospitalised three times since my diagnosis due
to my blood sugar being too high, not including the three days I spent in
hospital when I first heard the words “there is no doubt you have type one
diabetes”. June 21st 2009 was the day that my life changed forever;
it was the day that my life was thrown into my own hands. It was the day that I
had to begin learning how to keep myself alive, at just eleven years old. That
is an incredible weight to bear; I was old enough to understand my life was
going to be different, but too young to understand exactly how it would be.
Type one diabetes has stripped me of my care-free life; I
have had to grow up way before my time. It is hard to keep up with all the
blood sugar testing and giving insulin and counting the carbohydrate in my
food- it is not the way I lived for the first eleven years of my life. Now I
miss some days off of school for hospital appointments, and even a simple cold
could mean a hospital admission. It is a constant balancing act.
Type one diabetes has its immediate complications, but
that’s not all. Long-term effects of type one diabetes include blindness, heart
disease, limb amputation, kidney failure, neuropathy and hardening of the
arteries. The very last thing I do when I go to bed at night is test my blood
sugar to make sure it is not too low or high so that I actually wake up every
morning.
Ever since I was diagnosed I have been determined not to let
it get me down and to raise awareness of this disease, type one diabetes has
made me stronger and has made me realise that you never truly appreciate how
precious your life is until something threatens to take it away. Although I go
through what I do I still achieve things in my life, I do well at school, I
have a wonderful family and supportive friends, and I smile every day because I
am living my life.
I have had my fair share of ups and downs and will continue
to do so, worry, fear, pain and not feeling so great will always be a part of
my life until a cure is found, but I will experience happiness when I have good
blood sugars and I also love my life. I know life could be worse and I am doing
my best to raise as much awareness of type one diabetes as possible.
I am a teenager with type one diabetes, but I want people to
know just what it takes to live with type one diabetes.
Sunday, 10 November 2013
Before I was diagnosed
Before I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes,
I didn't need to prick my finger,
I didn't need to inject insulin,
I didn't need to wear an insulin pump,
I didn't need to fire a needle into my stomach every three days,
I didn't need to feel the sting from my insulin,
I didn't need to feel the sting from pricking my finger,
I didn't need to avoid injecting in the same place,
I didn't need to rotate sites,
I didn't need to avoid pricking the same fingers,
I didn't need to have glucose tablets in my bag,
I didn't need to have glucose tablets by my bed,
I didn't need to have a cupboard full of supplies,
I didn't need to worry about low blood sugar,
I didn't need to worry about high blood sugar,
I didn't need to go to the hospital every three months,
I didn't need to explain to my friends what to do if I passed out,
I didn't need to explain to my little cousin why I wear my pump,
I didn't need to wear a Medical ID bracelet,
I didn't need to worry about long-term complications,
I didn't need to wake up in the middle of the night to treat low blood sugar,
I didn't need to stop my work at school to treat a high blood sugar,
I didn't need to tell my teachers about low and high blood sugar,
I didn't need to count the carbohydrate in my food,
I didn't need to carry a carbs and cals book around,
I didn't need to weigh my food,
I didn't need to work out an insulin dosage,
I didn't need to wake up earlier in case I went low,
I didn't need to draw blood from my fingers,
I didn't need to know the number for clinic,
I didn't need to hear a hba1c result every three months,
I didn't need to avoid going into DKA,
I didn't need to avoid passing out,
I didn't need to fight every single day to protect my organs,
I didn't need to keep vials of insulin in the fridge,
I didn't need to drinks tons of water for high blood sugar,
I didn't need to force-feed myself food for low blood sugar,
I didn't need to tuck in pump-tubing for fear of it being ripped out,
I didn't need to carry around extra-supplies,
I didn't need to wear a continuous glucose monitor,
I didn't need to know the symptoms of low blood sugar,
I didn't need to know the symptoms of high blood sugar,
I didn't need to learn how to inject myself,
I didn't need to learn how to use an insulin pump,
I didn't need to worry about not waking up in the morning,
I didn't need to depend on insulin to live.
Diabetes isn't just test and inject.
It's so much more.
-Ellie
[Peace&Insulin]
I didn't need to prick my finger,
I didn't need to inject insulin,
I didn't need to wear an insulin pump,
I didn't need to fire a needle into my stomach every three days,
I didn't need to feel the sting from my insulin,
I didn't need to feel the sting from pricking my finger,
I didn't need to avoid injecting in the same place,
I didn't need to rotate sites,
I didn't need to avoid pricking the same fingers,
I didn't need to have glucose tablets in my bag,
I didn't need to have glucose tablets by my bed,
I didn't need to have a cupboard full of supplies,
I didn't need to worry about low blood sugar,
I didn't need to worry about high blood sugar,
I didn't need to go to the hospital every three months,
I didn't need to explain to my friends what to do if I passed out,
I didn't need to explain to my little cousin why I wear my pump,
I didn't need to wear a Medical ID bracelet,
I didn't need to worry about long-term complications,
I didn't need to wake up in the middle of the night to treat low blood sugar,
I didn't need to stop my work at school to treat a high blood sugar,
I didn't need to tell my teachers about low and high blood sugar,
I didn't need to count the carbohydrate in my food,
I didn't need to carry a carbs and cals book around,
I didn't need to weigh my food,
I didn't need to work out an insulin dosage,
I didn't need to wake up earlier in case I went low,
I didn't need to draw blood from my fingers,
I didn't need to know the number for clinic,
I didn't need to hear a hba1c result every three months,
I didn't need to avoid going into DKA,
I didn't need to avoid passing out,
I didn't need to fight every single day to protect my organs,
I didn't need to keep vials of insulin in the fridge,
I didn't need to drinks tons of water for high blood sugar,
I didn't need to force-feed myself food for low blood sugar,
I didn't need to tuck in pump-tubing for fear of it being ripped out,
I didn't need to carry around extra-supplies,
I didn't need to wear a continuous glucose monitor,
I didn't need to know the symptoms of low blood sugar,
I didn't need to know the symptoms of high blood sugar,
I didn't need to learn how to inject myself,
I didn't need to learn how to use an insulin pump,
I didn't need to worry about not waking up in the morning,
I didn't need to depend on insulin to live.
Diabetes isn't just test and inject.
It's so much more.
-Ellie
[Peace&Insulin]
Tuesday, 5 November 2013
JDRF T1 Youth Ambassador day
Friday 1st November 2013 saw me and my dad trekking up to London for the JDRF Youth Ambassador day. Well, I was actually attending the day; my dad just strolled around London for a few hours whilst I, along with a few other youth ambassadors and their parents were trained in the fine art of public speaking.
I got up early that morning as the event started at 10 am.
I had a shower, I ate breakfast, all the while whilst dealing with problem blood sugars, and listening to my mum and dad debate on what train my dad and I should get.
In case you were wondering we got the 9:32 train.
That got us into Euston station at about 10:02 if I remember correctly. We got to the station, literally ran up the overly lengthy escalators- seriously my legs were burning. Don't run up the escalators, they're long and not to mention the fact that the steps are each like a meter high. On to more important matters, the extortionate train fares wiped my oyster card of the few pounds it had left and so I could not get through the silly barriers. The station lady or whatever her job title is turned and said "It needs topping up" with the most blank expression and monotonous voice I have ever heard.
Right...so it needs topping up yet, the top up machines are on the OTHER side of the barrier- where is the logic? Thankfully my dad got through before me so he could top it up for me.
"Dad, here take my oyster and top it up over there please?"
"Ok."
"Do you want me to give you the money for it?"
"Nah it's alright I've got it"
"Okay. Just press that button...yeah that one. No wait go back, yeah that one there. Ok press it again. Ok now put the money in...it fell out. Yeah that's enough, alright now hold it on till it beeps again, keep holding it...keep holding it...ok thanks!"
After I finally managed to get out of the station we continued our journey to the University of London union which is where the action day was taking place. My dad and I both got out our phones and we had to find Malet street...ok yeah sure with the help of Google maps we'll find it in no time. Right?
No. No in fact it took us over half an hour to find this place.
HALF.AN.HOUR.
We were honestly so confused and Google maps was not even helping the situation one single bit. It basically kept directing us to one place, but by the time we got there the little tracker had somehow moved about three roads to the left and it felt like we were chasing the blue arrow. So my dad asked a foreign man where Malet street was, obviously we didn't know this before we asked him...the man had absolutely no clue so he was hopeless.
I'm sure by now you will all be glad to know that we did eventually find it...45 minutes later. Anyway the main thing was I could still join in and they actually hadn't started doing anything yet. I waved bye to my dad and turned around to face five other teenagers...all type one diabetic...all wanting to make a difference and learn about public speaking. Samuel, Miles, Georgia, Milly and Stephanie were their names.
If I'm honest...none of them really talked. They all knew one another already and so Miles and Sam would go off together during the breaks and Georgia, Milly and Stephanie went off to speak to their parents...so I did my own thing really. Sent a couple of texts to my mum...
"NONE of these people have spoken to me:( they're all with their parents"
"Oh Els, talk to someone. Are you enjoying it at least? x"
"Yeah I'm hatting now:) & Yeah its good xx"
"Good I'm glad chicky. Make the most of it x"
"Thanks mamma xx"
If you follow me on Twitter you would know that the person I was so happy to be chatting to was Annie! Or in twitter terms: @understudypanc
I knew she was going to be there that day and she approached me during the break after I tweeted:
"I THINK I see you" Basically I was too apprehensive to say hello because I thought what if it isn't her? How embarrassing would that be?
I met two of her lovely daughters and had a nice chat over break time and again at lunch time. It felt so strange to be talking to her in person rather than on twitter. I always love putting faces to...usernames. I'm so glad I got to meet Annie and she is so fabulous! as are her daughters. At the end of the day she met my dad and we all had a chat for a few minutes...but it was rainy and cold and everyone had to get off home so we couldn't talk for long but it was nice all the while.
Let me rewind a bit...Ok so we started off introducing ourselves and learning the basics of talking in public. Then we were asked impromptu questions, I think mine were "If you could have invisible powers, what would they be?" and "If you were invisible what would you do?" We were all asked different ones. The point of those questions was for us to let our personalities come through when speaking. The lady said I was very animated and clear, she also said I have a lovely smile because I smile at people when I talk to them- so that was fabulous feedback.
Then we were informed that we had to deliver a 2-3 minute speech at the end of the day on a topic of our choice but the lady said she wanted to know about Type one. She referred to herself as "ignorant" on the matter and so wanted us to teach her something about what we deal with. She said "I assume you're all sufferers of diabetes?" and Sam replied.
"I'm not a sufferer, but yes I do have diabetes"
And she commended him for that, as we all did. Positive attitudes are always great.
My speech was about social media and diabetes and I was discussing my speech with Simon from JDRF before-hand as we all had a chance to go off and practice for a few minutes. And I was telling him about my speech in Parliament and how social media really helped me realise my passion for raising awareness for type one and things.
So I delivered my speech and had virtually no negative feedback...not that any one did anyway. It was all very constructive criticism so I suppose it's wrong to call it negative. She said to me "Try not to say 'you know' because actually, we don't know. You're telling us and educating us. Only you know" The rest of my feedback was just about how she enjoyed it and I that I'm very clear and animated when I speak so, I was happy with that.
All in all I had a really good day and actually by the end we were all talking to one another more and of course, everyone was all really friendly. It was nice to meet some of the staff from JDRF and to meet Annie and her girls, and to meet some other teenagers with type one. It was a really productive, fun day thanks to JDRF and I'm glad I took up the opportunity to go.
-Ellie
[Peace&Insulin]
I got up early that morning as the event started at 10 am.
I had a shower, I ate breakfast, all the while whilst dealing with problem blood sugars, and listening to my mum and dad debate on what train my dad and I should get.
In case you were wondering we got the 9:32 train.
That got us into Euston station at about 10:02 if I remember correctly. We got to the station, literally ran up the overly lengthy escalators- seriously my legs were burning. Don't run up the escalators, they're long and not to mention the fact that the steps are each like a meter high. On to more important matters, the extortionate train fares wiped my oyster card of the few pounds it had left and so I could not get through the silly barriers. The station lady or whatever her job title is turned and said "It needs topping up" with the most blank expression and monotonous voice I have ever heard.
Right...so it needs topping up yet, the top up machines are on the OTHER side of the barrier- where is the logic? Thankfully my dad got through before me so he could top it up for me.
"Dad, here take my oyster and top it up over there please?"
"Ok."
"Do you want me to give you the money for it?"
"Nah it's alright I've got it"
"Okay. Just press that button...yeah that one. No wait go back, yeah that one there. Ok press it again. Ok now put the money in...it fell out. Yeah that's enough, alright now hold it on till it beeps again, keep holding it...keep holding it...ok thanks!"
After I finally managed to get out of the station we continued our journey to the University of London union which is where the action day was taking place. My dad and I both got out our phones and we had to find Malet street...ok yeah sure with the help of Google maps we'll find it in no time. Right?
No. No in fact it took us over half an hour to find this place.
HALF.AN.HOUR.
We were honestly so confused and Google maps was not even helping the situation one single bit. It basically kept directing us to one place, but by the time we got there the little tracker had somehow moved about three roads to the left and it felt like we were chasing the blue arrow. So my dad asked a foreign man where Malet street was, obviously we didn't know this before we asked him...the man had absolutely no clue so he was hopeless.
I'm sure by now you will all be glad to know that we did eventually find it...45 minutes later. Anyway the main thing was I could still join in and they actually hadn't started doing anything yet. I waved bye to my dad and turned around to face five other teenagers...all type one diabetic...all wanting to make a difference and learn about public speaking. Samuel, Miles, Georgia, Milly and Stephanie were their names.
If I'm honest...none of them really talked. They all knew one another already and so Miles and Sam would go off together during the breaks and Georgia, Milly and Stephanie went off to speak to their parents...so I did my own thing really. Sent a couple of texts to my mum...
"NONE of these people have spoken to me:( they're all with their parents"
"Oh Els, talk to someone. Are you enjoying it at least? x"
"Yeah I'm hatting now:) & Yeah its good xx"
"Good I'm glad chicky. Make the most of it x"
"Thanks mamma xx"
If you follow me on Twitter you would know that the person I was so happy to be chatting to was Annie! Or in twitter terms: @understudypanc
I knew she was going to be there that day and she approached me during the break after I tweeted:
"I THINK I see you" Basically I was too apprehensive to say hello because I thought what if it isn't her? How embarrassing would that be?
I met two of her lovely daughters and had a nice chat over break time and again at lunch time. It felt so strange to be talking to her in person rather than on twitter. I always love putting faces to...usernames. I'm so glad I got to meet Annie and she is so fabulous! as are her daughters. At the end of the day she met my dad and we all had a chat for a few minutes...but it was rainy and cold and everyone had to get off home so we couldn't talk for long but it was nice all the while.
Let me rewind a bit...Ok so we started off introducing ourselves and learning the basics of talking in public. Then we were asked impromptu questions, I think mine were "If you could have invisible powers, what would they be?" and "If you were invisible what would you do?" We were all asked different ones. The point of those questions was for us to let our personalities come through when speaking. The lady said I was very animated and clear, she also said I have a lovely smile because I smile at people when I talk to them- so that was fabulous feedback.
Then we were informed that we had to deliver a 2-3 minute speech at the end of the day on a topic of our choice but the lady said she wanted to know about Type one. She referred to herself as "ignorant" on the matter and so wanted us to teach her something about what we deal with. She said "I assume you're all sufferers of diabetes?" and Sam replied.
"I'm not a sufferer, but yes I do have diabetes"
And she commended him for that, as we all did. Positive attitudes are always great.
My speech was about social media and diabetes and I was discussing my speech with Simon from JDRF before-hand as we all had a chance to go off and practice for a few minutes. And I was telling him about my speech in Parliament and how social media really helped me realise my passion for raising awareness for type one and things.
So I delivered my speech and had virtually no negative feedback...not that any one did anyway. It was all very constructive criticism so I suppose it's wrong to call it negative. She said to me "Try not to say 'you know' because actually, we don't know. You're telling us and educating us. Only you know" The rest of my feedback was just about how she enjoyed it and I that I'm very clear and animated when I speak so, I was happy with that.
All in all I had a really good day and actually by the end we were all talking to one another more and of course, everyone was all really friendly. It was nice to meet some of the staff from JDRF and to meet Annie and her girls, and to meet some other teenagers with type one. It was a really productive, fun day thanks to JDRF and I'm glad I took up the opportunity to go.
-Ellie
[Peace&Insulin]
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