I can do this

It's slipping, diabetes is slipping from my fingers again and I feel like it's hanging in the balance. I am trying to hold on to the good control as hard as I can, even if I let up a little; I know I will lose it completely and I will revert back to my old ways.

I don't understand why it is so hard for me to do all that I am supposed to do. I never used to have the motivation to do it all, I didn't want to get up in the morning and prick my finger straight away; I wanted to go downstairs and eat my breakfast straight away, just like my sister does.

Then I got over that. I got better at doing it all, I finally got diabetes back in my grasp and once again, it was mine.

Diabetes hasn't controlled me for a few months now, I have been controlling it as best as I can and honestly, it is still hard for me to stay on top of things, but I am doing it. I am getting tired of doing it, but I am still trying to do it and it will stay this way.

I'm slipping but I can do this. Ever since I was diagnosed I always had the attitude that I will have hard days and I will have good days on my long journey with Type One, and that it is just a bad day and not a bad life. Living with diabetes is a massive rollercoaster ride, sometimes you expect the loops then you don't.

But the ones you don't expect, just shut your eyes and hold on tight because it is over before you know it.

That's how I am taking it now. This rough patch that I have encountered will be over soon and I will get back in control, proper control. It is still being controlled okay, but I can just feel myself slowly reverting back to how I used to be. But I just can't let myself do that.

I need to get my hba1c down, for myself, for my parents and for the sake of my soon-to-be bunny rabbit.