Facing my fears

So I'm Type one diabetic, I deal with needles every single day of my life and I don't flinch, I face the risk of complications, I do my best to avoid hospital stays, I prick my finger multiple times, I wear a cannula in my stomach, I visit the hospital every three months- to a lot of people, that probably looks like I'm the girl with no fear, that I'm incredibly brave and if I can do all that I do every single day of my life, then nothing could phase me, right?

The truth is, I have fears. I have quite a few fears actually, I'm afraid of heights, I'm afraid of lifts, Spiders, any sort of reptile, and most of all wasps and bees. I'm telling you now, I will literally run away if a wasp is within 10 feet of me- I honestly can't stand them.

Looking back on the past few weeks of my summer holidays, I have realised that for a lot of them, I have found myself in situations in which I actually confronted my fears. For example, I chose to get in the lift at the train station just to save myself the torture of running up and down all of the steps at Covent Garden. I climbed all 52 metres of the O2 and willingly stood on top of it. Plus, while on holiday with my family in Somerset- I found myself conquering a few more fears...the first which I am incredibly proud of, is holding a tarantula and three snakes. It was an amazing experience and one I will never forget.

 I also climbed up a cliff in Ilfracombe, North Devon. Not to mention pushing through the mounds of flowers and obscene amount of wasps on the way up- actually, to be honest, Somerset appears to have loads more wasps than we do in London, it's horrifying. So maybe my fear of wasps isn't quite conquered- but if there is a fear that I feel i've conquered the most, it's my fear of heights.

My heart starts pounding and I feel the nausea setting in just looking up at a tall building, so actually managing to get to the top of the cliff and how I managed to climb the o2 amazes me even now. Climbing a tall building would be a lot of people's option over having to inject themselves five times a day and prick their finger even more than that.

What I'm saying is, we all have our own fears- I am not afraid of needles, many people pass out at being pricked by a needle as I probably would if I was stung by a wasp. It's the same concept. Some would rather scale the side of a building than prick their finger, everyone has a phobia, be it big or small we are all different and we all fear things. Some share certain phobias, others frown at those who fear something seemingly ridiculous like flies.

I'm proud of myself for confronting a few of my fears these past few weeks- although I deal with diabetes on a daily basis, I most certainly wouldn't call myself fearless.

-Ellie
[Peace&Insulin]