It's that time again

It's that time again.

The dreaded Hba1c check. My Hba1c was 12.5%, while this is a really bad number...I had been and still am, doing lots more blood sugar checks which is a major breakthrough for me because that is something I struggled to keep up with the most. It was clear from the data on my blood sugar meter the effort that I had been putting in; so although my blood sugars hadn't been good...my efforts were obvious and so my consultant was proud of me for that. It's always nice to find the good in a Hba1c that is otherwise, really terrible to put it lightly.

I say dreaded, but this time the word doesn't carry so much weight. I don't dread it this time. I have been really trying for the past 6 weeks since my last Hba1c check. It has been a time of immense pride in myself for managing to keep on top of things for this long, it used to be, in effect, a vicious circle. I would go to my appointment, come out feeling really motivated to "do things right this time" and I would do it for about a week or so, but then slowly the drive and the motivation would fade out. I am determined not to let that happen any more, I am determined to get my Hba1c down. As I mentioned earlier, it has been just 6 weeks since my last appointment and a Hba1c test is a three month average and so, I realise that the blood sugars I have had for the past month and a half won't have a huge impact on the 12.5%, I have a feeling tomorrow's Hba1c will still be dominated a great deal by the blood sugars I had 2 months prior to the Hba1c I had a month and a half ago.

I am not asking for it to have dropped a huge amount because I know this isn't all that possible; but what I am asking is that my Hba1c has dropped. Even just a bit, I just need to see progress...I want to know that all my hard work is having an impact. I know I can do this, I absolutely know I can.

-Ellie