And now, I do.
Now, when I say to myself once the clock ticks to 00:01 on January 1st 2014 that I need to do better with my diabetes. It means something; it is a resolution that screams loud and clear in my ears. Sure, diabetes isn't everything but it's big enough to have an impact on my life, after all, if I don't look after my diabetes how can I be me? "Me" isn't a cranky, thirsty, tired girl. That is not me.
I vow every year that I will do all that I'm supposed to, giving insulin, checking blood sugar, counting carbohydrates, everything. And can I HONESTLY say that I fulfilled my resolution in 2013? No. But I sure as hell tried. I've never stopped trying. All through 2013 my Hba1c hovered around 11-12% from what I can remember. 2013 was the year that my Hba1c climbed right up to 12.3%, the highest it's ever been. But I didn't give up. When my mum asks "Are we going to get it down?" I say "Yes, we can do it" In terms of diabetes, I spent a lot of time not asking for help from my parents, I assumed I could do it all on my own- but if there is anything that 2013 has taught me about a life with type one diabetes, it's that sometimes, it's okay to ask for help, and these last few months of the year I have and I'm forever grateful for all the help I get from my parents and my family.
Just because my control over diabetes hasn't been great this year, it doesn't mean that 2013 hasn't been great. I've had ups with my diabetes, and ups and downs with every thing else. Lets reflect on my year.
In February 2013, we welcomed my cousin on my dad's side baby, Charlie into the world.
In March 2013 I started up this very blog, this blog that eight months later has conjured up over 18,000 views.
In May/June 2013 I completed my final GCSE exams.
In June 2013 I spoke in the House of Commons as part of a campaign run by Diabetes UK, I passed four years of living with type one diabetes and attended my Year 11 Prom.
In July 2013 I turned sixteen years old and welcomed my other cousin's baby, Ethan into the world. My family and I also got the news that my auntie, uncle and cousins on my mum's side are moving back to England from the USA in Summer 2014.
In early August 2013 me, my parents and the family on my mum's side all went on a holiday to Somerset.
In late August 2013 I received my GCSE results- 1 A*, 3 A's, 3 B's, 1 C and (a D...but we can ignore that) I also did a speech at a local cyber bullying event and was in the local newspaper for the first time ever.
In September 2013 I started sixth form, did the JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes for the first time and got pet bunny rabbits- Fred and Perry.
In October 2013, I had a bit of a 'down' time when I went into DKA, but I came back bouncing. That month also marked one year since losing one of our pet cats, Smudge.
In November 2013 it was anti-bullying week and I was chosen along with one other girl from Year 12 and other girls from the years below to be anti-bullying ambassadors for the Diana Award. We attended an anti-bullying event with workshops run by various celebrities.
And this month, December 2013 I found out that I got a place for Type 1 Parliament with JDRF in March next year, welcomed my cousin on my dad's side second baby Alyssa, into the world. I finally got my Hba1c down to 11.4% (something I am very proud of because I struggled to control my diabetes for most of this year) and it has given me even more motivation to get it lower, I switched from my insulin pump back from injections, which so far has been a brilliant decision for me, and on the second to last day of 2013 my blog passed 18,000 views.
All in all, 2013 has been a great year. (I may or may not have missed some things out, but these are the major things which I can remember)...I feel as though I have accomplished a lot and learnt a lot about myself, of course I have had down times within these 12 months but I am thankful they have never been anything too major, it was things like feeling sad about diabetes, or family disputes like arguments with my parents but I love them so much that they are never anything huge. I've fallen out with some friends this year too but sometimes I feel like falling out with these particular people was a blessing in disguise because I have realised who my true friends are.
I hope that 2014 is a brilliant year and is full of health, happiness and accomplishment for me, my parents, my family, my friends and for everyone.
I probably won't post tomorrow which is New Year's Eve, or on New Year's Day. So I wan't to take this opportunity to wish everyone a very wonderful New Year and a VERY HAPPY 2014.