Tuesday, 9 August 2016

For me

When I started my blog I was in school, I was 15, and apart from having to do school work I didn't have much else to do or have much else on my mind. As I've got older, I had A-Levels to do, I got a job, I have other things on my mind apart from diabetes and blogging and it's something that I have not cared for properly at all these past few month or year even. Blogging has always been an outlet for me and when people actually started to read it I had even more of a desire to carry on with it. This is not a dig in anyway or a bitter remark, but as the GBDOC has grown, there are other, better blogs out there than mine and that added to my feelings towards stopping blogging all together. I have gotten myself into the mindset that I am no longer important in the world of diabetes and there are other blogs people care about- what even is my blog? Why do I do it?

Then I realised I do it for me as an outlet and I do it so others can learn and find insight from my blogs. I don't have a personal agenda. I do it so I can raise awareness and tell people what life is really like with Type One Diabetes. So I need to realise that, and start blogging again. Even if I don't have as many readers as I used to. So I don't have all the diabetes tech, I can't afford a Freestyle Libre every month and I don't have sensors with my 640G and I don't look at my blood sugar averages often and post about them, or compare pre and post exercise levels because quite frankly I don't exercise- I feel like everyone now cares about the tech and the data and how inspirational you are if you exercise or never have a down day with Type 1. I'm not like that, from me you get feelings, you get what comes from my heart and what I feel like on any given day due to Type 1. But maybe people don't want that, who knows. For now as I try and start up my blog again, I need to figure out what it is I need to do and what it is that will bring my passion back.

I am flattered by everyone who's told me I inspired them to set up their blogs and by everyone who's told me that my blog is good.

I don't quite know exactly what I'm trying to say in this blog, but what I do know is, I have to believe it myself, this is as much for me as it is everyone else.