Wednesday, 30 July 2014

Stage 3

(I totally forgot to post this on the day that I wrote it! So here is a little summary of stage 3- when I was actually doing it. I need to write a blog post about my overall experience, so I will do that in a minute)

Today is Wednesday. I'm surprised I can even keep up with the days being in here- sometimes it feels like all the days just merge together. Yesterday I moved onto stage 3 of my admission. Stage 3 means that I can do things by myself but with supervision from the nurses; I'm also allowed to leave the hospital in-between meals, but that also has to be supervised by someone else like a relative.

Yesterday evening my uncle visited and so he took me out after I ate my dinner; which was really nice because I hadn't been outside in a while! It felt so lovely to get some fresh air and it was a sunny evening so that made it even better. We walked down the road and just sat outside Pret A Manger and had some tea; it was so good to be around people other than patients and nurses, to hear noises other than patient buzzers and beeping machines, to smell nice food and not hospital food. Being stuck in here has actually made me appreciate things like that so much more; it's the little things. Just being outside has become such a huge thing for me, it wasn't before; but it is at the moment- while I'm cooped up in here, being outside is something that makes my day right now, it may not be a big thing to someone else, but to me, right now, it's a big thing! We were out for about an hour and a half and it was depressing when I had to come back to the ward, but I'm the type of person who likes to "live in the moment" and so I didn't let the thought of having to come back here ruin the time that I was spending away from the hospital, I just enjoyed it for what it was.

Today I had my first low blood sugar, and even though it made me feel bad, I was so happy to see numbers that were single figures. I never thought I would ever appreciate a low blood sugar, but I did and when I saw that low number I actually thought "finally!" finally my blood sugars were something other than high, I had to correct it with juice and not extra insulin and it felt...good? Obviously low blood sugars are awful and I really don't like them but I was relieved to see it because lately I've been constantly high and I got to the point where whenever I've been having my blood sugar checked I've been expecting to see an 11 or higher. So to finally see single figures was great. My waking blood sugars were actually 5.8 but sure enough after breakfast they were 10.4; and I just thought "oh great" they're probably going to be stubborn again now, but to see that something was actually doing it's job is good! I know to be low isn't "good" but it's the fact that my blood sugars responded to the insulin by going down...they went down and not up. So I was happy to see it. But obviously I don't want to be low all the time so don't get any ideas, diabetes!

I'm getting there though, hopefully stage 4 will commence soon and I'll be able to get out of here and hopefully I will leave the hospital feeling more in control of my diabetes.

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