My Hummingbird tattoo

Yesterday I got a tattoo. It's a hummingbird. I love it! I got a few questions as to whether or not there is a link to diabetes in my tattoo and the answer is yes. It's not a coincidence that I got tattooed on my arm the very animal that used to be the Diabetes UK logo, but I've also generally just always wanted a Hummingbird tattoo.

I'm happy that I chose a Hummingbird and I'm even happier that it has so much meaning. I really enjoy the fact that it's not meaningless, I don't think I would want to put myself through having a tattoo if I didn't feel like it was worth it. It's beautiful and the artist did a wonderful job designing it and it came out far better than I expected!

Why a Hummingbird in relation to diabetes?

I took this paragraph from a website that I read whilst searching about the Hummingbird and it's relationship with diabetes.

"What we can admire about the hummingbird is it's incredible ability to efficiently manage all the crucial aspects of it's life. Individuals with chronic diseases understand better than most people as to how essential it is not be in control with certain aspects of their lives. For hose with diabetes, their diet is simply one factor they must take into consideration on a daily basis."

In a nutshell, the Hummingbird is a busy bird! It has lots going on at once yet retains it's beauty and composure and it has the remarkable ability to adapt to everything around it. I know the other link to diabetes through the Hummingbird is the way it's body processes sugar, however, that bit is a little bit boring so I didn't put that in the blog!

Pump upgrade: Medtronic 640G

Since I last posted on my blog, a few things have happened...I turned 18, booked my first driving lesson, and yesterday I got my new insulin pump!

June 14th marked exactly four years with my purple Medtronic Veo, or as I liked to call it, Maurice. Maurice and I had a good four years together, there was a slight love-hate relationship going on but on the whole I loved my Veo. It had been through a lot...I dropped it in the bath accidentally a couple of times, dropped it on the floor countless times, let it swing from my body many times, accidentally bashed it on cabinets and door frames and experienced the dreaded 'Button Error' which thankfully did not amount to anything more. Through all the rough and tumble, it survived all four years with no replacement pumps! I did return a very scratched up pump to the hospital, but it was my original pump and it proved to be a very robust pump indeed.

I've moved on from my purple Veo, Maurice, and have a new insulin pump- the Medtronic 640G! I went to the hospital yesterday to get the pump along with a couple of other people who were also upgrading their pumps and we spent from 2-4pm learning all about the 640G and it's different features. In general, I love the look and feel of this insulin pump, it's sleek and it looks modern and the buttons have a nice 'click' to them, if that even makes sense! The colour screen is a huge improvement from the older Medtronic pumps, it no longer looks like an old Nokia phone with the game 'Snake' installed. The fact that it is waterproof really excites me, I mean, my old pump did come into contact with water more times than it should have done...but it was ok, and so I like to think that the old pumps are water resistant to some extent. I'm looking forward to plunging my 640G into the sink one day to really test out it's "waterproof-ness" (That's not a real word I'm sure), but I won't be doing that any time soon, it's too new!

In terms of the actual functions of the pump, they're also pretty cool. I love that you can stop a bolus. If you change your mind about how much you're going to eat or if you want to eat more then you can stop the bolus, the pump will tell you how many units it had already given you, and then you can go ahead and set up a new bolus. On the old pumps if you wanted to cancel a bolus you had to suspend it which in turn suspended everything, including your basal rates, whereas with the 'Stop bolus' feature, it just stops the bolus, nothing else...your basal will continue and won't stop either. Whatever it has just given you, will go straight into your 'Active insulin' which now shows up on the home screen, unlike on the old pumps were you had to press 'ESC' to bring up the screen and then scroll down to see your active insulin. You can also change the volume of the alarms, and set it to vibrate or sound...it's a bit like a mobile phone in the fact that you can see what sound setting you have on in the status bar. To save battery you can make it "sleep", so you can make the screen go off and it won't suspend insulin delivery or anything. If you're wearing a sensor then the home screen will display the sensor graph, if you're not wearing a sensor then it will show your most recent BG for 12 minutes, the Medtronic rep told us that they chose 12 minutes as the time frame to display your BG because after 12 minutes you might have checked again if you were low and after 12 minutes your BG will have most likely changed.

The buttons light up which makes it so much easier to use in the dark, the carbohydrate and bg screens are all on one screen now, whereas with the older pumps you had to enter your BG, then press ACT and then move onto the carbohydrate screen and if you wanted to go back a step it would make you re-enter the carbs. If you're on the menu you can just hold down the back button and it will take you all the way back to the home screen, but if you don't want to go back to the home screen then just press back and it will take you back a step...but if you're changing insulin settings or anything like that you just have to make sure that you press 'Save' before going back to the home screen! I also enjoy the fact that it has little icons up in the status bar such as an insulin vial icon that is green and turns red when you're low on insulin, it also has a green battery icon that will turn red when you're low on battery.

Last but not least, this insulin pump has 'Smart Guard' on it. This feature is activated when you're wearing a sensor with the pump, it will suspend insulin delivery when the sensor detects a downward trend in your blood sugar. You set a 'Low limit' on the pump, which is something like 3.4mmol, and the insulin delivery will be suspended when your blood sugar is 3.9mmol above your low limit and it detects that your blood sugar is falling...it will then resume insulin delivery once your blood sugar is back to normal, or your can resume it manually once you know your blood sugar is back to a safe range. What I learnt yesterday during the upgrade that this is a very sensitive sensor and it can fail or end early. For example, the Medtronic rep at the pump upgrade told us yesterday that if your blood sugar is not stable at the time of calibration it can reject a calibration and will tell you to do it again, two rejected calibrations in a row will make the sensor end because it will suspect that something is wrong with it and tell you to put in a new sensor. Another tip the Medtronic rep told us yesterday was not to calibrate it too much or it will get confused, the best times for calibration are before meals or at a time when you know your blood sugar is stable. My sensor ended yesterday after two failed calibrations and so I am yet to experience the Smart Guard feature as that was my last sensor until I order more, but I will be sure to blog once I have a sensor on and once I experience the Smart Guard.

That is all I have to say about the pump and it's features so far, but overall I really like the pump and I think the fact that it still has tubing is made up for with it's really cool features.

-Ellie

Low blood sugar

Since getting my blood sugars back under control I've noticed that I tend to experience low blood sugar more often than not, it's not a major issue but I would preferably not have to worry about low blood sugar more than I do under normal circumstances. My consultant reduced all my basal rates by 10% when I last had clinic and that is a really positive step for me because it shows that my body is using insulin as it should be and isn't putting up any resistance anymore.

In light of the subject of low blood sugar I'm going to talk about what I now know to be my first ever low blood sugar experience. This particular experience took place before I was diagnosed, I can't remember exactly how long before my diagnosis it was but I don't think it was long before. I know you're probably wondering how it was possible to experience a low blood sugar if my beta-cells were being killed off by my immune system at that very moment...and I wonder that too, but it happened and I am certain that what I experienced was low blood sugar- although I actually really had no idea what was happening to me at the time.

We had just arrived at my auntie and uncle's house in Clacton after a drive that was about an hour and a bit. I felt funny but ignored it. As soon as I got out of the car I immediately felt weak and my legs were shaky- I had never ever felt like that before this moment so I was a little bit disturbed but to be honest I didn't think anything of it...I put it down to sitting in the car for a long time. I had the sense that I needed to eat and thank goodness it was lunchtime! I couldn't make any sense of the situation, all I knew was that I felt terrible and I needed food- and so I ate (loads!) and I felt better right after lunch. That confirms it even more that I experienced low blood sugar at that moment, but I didn't know.

What I didn't know was that this feeling would soon become something that I know and can make sense of, what I didn't know was that the horrible weakness and jelly legs would be a sensation that I would and will experience many more times in my life. I still remember being quizzed by the nurse at the hospital after I was diagnosed, I was going home that day and she asked me questions about the symptoms of low and high blood sugar...I found this so daunting because I wasn't exactly sure and couldn't really differentiate between the two just yet as I was still taking in my diagnosis of T1! Needless to say I didn't quite manage to answer the questions perfectly, but I soon became to know the signs and symptoms that my body gives me if my blood sugar is high or low.

I feel like I might aswell tell you about my lowest ever blood sugar- my lowest ever blood sugar was 1.9mmol, I know there are people who have had blood sugars lower than this but this was a particularly unsettling experience that I wish not to repeat. I didn't feel too horrible at first, I felt shaky and knew I had to check my blood sugar but I didn't think I was as low as I was. So I picked up my testing kit and went to sit on the sofa and I opened my testing kit and set up my finger pricker and put the test strip in my meter but I couldn't get any further than that...I tried to align the blood on my finger up with the test strip but I was shaking so much that this was an impossible task and I was beginning to experience tunnel vision and getting dots in my vision so I gave up and I called my parents in to test my blood sugar for me and I just laid on the sofa waiting for the reading to flash up on the screen. It was not a nice experience at all, and I remember literally eating so much for dinner in order to bring my levels up and make sure they stayed up.

Recently my body has been exhibiting a couple of new symptoms of low blood sugar such as experiencing a wave of nausea (really annoying symptom because I don't immediately realise that I'm low when a low presents itself in this way!) or it just doesn't give me a sign at all until they reach the 2's and then I start to feel light headed- also very annoying. I also tend to get a numb/tingly mouth, it's hard to describe it and it's very strange.

The experience of low blood sugar seems to be ever changing. New symptoms, new hypo treatment ideas...It's the blood sugar extreme that scares me the most, it makes me anxious and it's the most irritating because it always makes you stop whatever you're doing. But it comes along with the insulin that keeps me alive, and it's paired with the high blood sugar that tries to damage my organs, and it is all in all part of the "gift" that no beta-cells a.k.a T1 diabetes provided me with the day I was diagnosed.

I deal with it...and it introduced me to the "original" version of Lucozade...which by the way is not my cup of tea.

-Ellie

7.4%

I am probably the worst blogger ever. I've neglected my blog for over a month and a new blog post is well overdue. The past few weeks have been difficult, busy and for the most part, stressful; but I won't go into too much detail about that. In all honesty, diabetes hasn't been at the forefont of my mind lately, I've just been plodding along with it- I guess you could say I've been surviving- not thriving. I didn't even blog or tweet for Diabetes Week- and that's saying something! Just know that I've been trying to blog and been trying to find the right time to blog and nothing has ever felt right, I have a tendency to write drafts up and never post them...I get distracted easily.

Side note: It was my 6 year diaversary on the 21st of June!

What I'm about to say now is something that fills me with an immense amount of pride and it's taken me five and a half years to get to this point, and despite everything that's happened these past few weeks- I've managed to get my HbA1c to 7.4%! If you read my blog regularly, or if you've been reading it for a long time then you'll know that my diabetes has never really been well controlled- for as long as I can remember my HbA1c's have been over 10% and I say it took me five and a half years to get to a HbA1c of 7 because the last time I saw a HbA1c like that was literally a few months after diagnosis. I've been asked by people "How did you do it?" and the truth is, I don't know! Something clicked earlier this year and I've been on the ball with my diabetes ever since- I really can't even pinpoint what it is that I did to get back on track, it just sort of happened.

I have had the motivation for a long time, I always had bouts of it but never managed to keep up a routine for more than about a week. It's always been the way with me and for a long time I thought that was how it was always going to be. But I proved myself wrong, and I love the fact that I didn't prove anyone else wrong- because the people around me never lost faith in me- my mum and dad always reminded me that I can do this, and my consultant would always say "we'll get there..." after yet another disappointing HbA1c. And I have done it, and I've got there and I got a high 5 from my consultant and I'm proud of myself! I'm so so proud and I didn't imagine that I would have a HbA1c that is this good for a long time.

I feel as though I've abandoned my blog lately but I'm ready to get back on track. I'm glad that my first post after not blogging for a month is something positive, I'm glad that I've been able to share my awesome HbA1c as my first post back.

-Ellie

Joe's blog

I was messaged by Joe a couple of days ago and he let me know about his blog that he recently set up about his Type 1 Diabetes and he asked me if I would be able to share it for him, so of course I said yes. So, here is Joe's blog: http://www.vouchercodespro.co.uk/diabetes

Joe is 26 and was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes when he was 18. He says that starting a blog has been "really eye opening how big and brilliant the DOC is" and he wishes that he'd "known about it a lot sooner" and wants to show everyone with diabetes that we aren't alone and wants "everyone to know how much support is out there" and that's basically the intention I have for my blog, and I definitely agree with the DOC being brilliant! I think Joe's blog is really good, and I enjoyed reading it, so I would definitely recommend it and I'm sure it will go far and be a hit with the Diabetes Online Community. It's one to add to the list of fab diabetes blogs. To be honest, any blog about life with diabetes is fab because it's tough to live with diabetes and it takes dedication keep up a blog!

I would be able to write more about Joe's blog, however, my blood sugar is 3.1 as of about a second ago and unfortunately the need for treating my low blood sugar has taken over!

Anyway, I think Joe's blog is really good because it's funny and witty and captures really well just what it's like to live with Type 1.Thanks to Joe for contributing to all of the wonderful diabetes blogs that exist within the Diabetes Online Community, every diabetes blog out there is so helpful, and interesting and informative and everything that's good! (Apart from the ones that try and advertise cinnamon cures, those ones aren't so good...) And they're all a way of raising awareness and they are a lovely reminder that those of us with diabetes aren't alone in any aspect of it.

-Ellie

Keep It To Yourself #DBlogWeek

The topic for today's post of Diabetes Blog Week 2015 is #KeepItToYourself.

"Many of us share aspects of our diabetes lives online for the world to see. What are some of the aspects of diabetes that you choose to keep private from the internet? Or from your family and friends? Why is it important to keep it to yourself? (This is not an attempt to get you out of your comfort zone. There is no need to elaborate or tell personal stories related to these aspects. Simply let us know what kinds of stories we will never hear you tell, and why you won't tell them.)" 

I have a lot of posts on this blog that I've drafted up, but never posted. They stay on my list of posts as a draft, and I've never posted them, and I'm never going to! They're my thoughts, some of my deepest darkest thoughts that I've typed up when I was having a bad day with diabetes. I really think that there are certain things that just don't need to be said, or shared, with the internet! I like to keep them to myself, and I don't think I would like people to know; not because these drafted posts are anything sinister or disturbing or whatever, but just that they're my feelings- I've poured my heart out in a lot of them! I don't like the idea of someone reading them because I don't like the way that I might "look"...I do my best to keep my blog as positive as possible and yes, I do share the negatives because I feel like they have to be said but some things might make me look a little "too negative"! I also sometimes feel like maybe I'll look "weak" if I share my most vulnerable moments...the aim of my blog isn't to make people feel sorry for me, it's to show that diabetes isn't easy but I'm okay! And some of my drafted posts really don't reflect that message when I'm feeling down about it.

I also know that within the Online Diabetes Community that, like any group of people, there are a lot of different opinions and sometimes I feel like some things are better left unsaid. Basically there are certain topics that people would prefer not to talk about, and there are certain feelings towards diabetes that perhaps some people who also have diabetes don't feel and sometimes it can cause a little bit of controversy when people try to justify the way they're feeling. Sometimes I feel like diabetes is terrible, but there's always someone who will tell you it isn't, but when you're having a bad day with it you are so convinced that it is. But of course, not everyone responds with a backlash, in fact almost everyone on the #DOC is fabulous, it's just some people that I've seen on Facebook posts just make people irritated...

So yeah, I don't want to make people depressed with my posts! But I always say that I'm never going to sugar coat any aspect of diabetes that I choose to talk about.

One more thing!

Not everyone keeps certain things to themselves...and I feel like maybe they should, because their opinion is not quite what everyone wants to hear. The biggest example being people who have these mad ideas for a cure that do not exist. Maybe they should learn to keep more to themselves.

-Ellie

I can #DBlogWeek

This year I have decided that I will attempt to blog every day this week for DBlog Week. Diabetes Blog Week is kicking off with positivity and the topic for the first blog post of Diabetes Blog Week 2015 is #ICan.

"In the UK, there was a diabetes blog theme of "I can..." that participants found wonderfully empowering. So lets kick things off this year by looking at the positive side of our lives with diabetes. What have you or your loved one accomplished, despite having diabetes, that you weren't sure you could? Or what have you done that you've been particularly proud of? Or what good thing has diabetes brought into your life?" 

I can do anything despite having Type 1 Diabetes, it just takes a little extra planning.

I can live my life just as my twin sister and my friends and other people my age do and Type 1 Diabetes can't take that from me.

I can overcome the challenges Type 1 Diabetes presents me with.

I can and have achieved a HbA1c of under 10% in just 3 months, even if I told my psychologist I aimed to achieve this in a year.

I can get up for school in the morning (Sometimes!) even after a tough night with my blood sugars.

I can prove to my consultant that one of these days I really will "get there", for a long time I didn't even know where that was, let alone when I would get there.

I can and have sat my GCSE exams and passed with an abundance of A's and B's.

I can complete a 5k race without Type 1 Diabetes getting in the way...the only thing getting in my way is my lack of stamina!

I can ride rollercoasters over and over again without being bothered by my blood sugar.

I can and have mastered the art of devouring a slice of bread in a few seconds- low blood sugar teaches you all about being speedy...

I can drink a bottle of water in record speed!

I can tell you about some of the positive things that having Type 1 Diabetes has brought into my life.

I can tell you about the time that I went to Parliament with Diabetes UK and spoke in the House of Commons to support their campaign for better healthcare for Children and Teenagers with Type 1 Diabetes.

I can tell you about the time that I went to Parliament with JDRF, was Co-Chair and did a speech for the event- Type 1 Parliament.

I can tell you about the time that I completed my Bronze Duke of Edinburgh award and made it out alive! Despite Type 1 Diabetes making attempts to ruin my fun.

I can tell you about when I first started this blog, and I can also tell you that I never thought it would have nearly 50,000 views two years later.

I can eat whatever I want and be totally fine afterwards with no major blood sugar mishaps.

I can be thankful for some of what Type 1 Diabetes has done for me.

I can be thankful for the wonderful friends that I have met through having Type 1 Diabetes, such as Holly, Paris, Chloe, Lydia and Ellyse to name a few.

I can be thankful for the #DOC, for the brilliant people that I talk to on Twitter and on Instagram who give me lots of support and advice.

I can still see the beauty in life and in this world despite having Type 1 Diabetes.

I can still smile and laugh even after a rough day/week/month (however long a rough patch with Type 1 could possibly last!) with Type 1 Diabetes.

I can use my experiences with Type 1 Diabetes to help others that are going through it too.

I can understand what it is like to feel like the moment you're diagnosed your world turns upside down, but be here six years later with my feet still planted firmly on the ground!

I can tell you that I may only be 17 years old but Type 1 Diabetes has made me mature faster than any of my friends and even my twin sister; and that's not exactly a bad thing.

I can say that although Type 1 Diabetes is hard and it has it's ups and downs and I would much rather not have it; it has given my life even more value.

I can appreciate and be even more grateful for life and live it to the full.

I can be healthy and happy and do everything that other people can do despite living with Type 1 Diabetes!
(...apart from things like scaling buildings and other scary things...I'm a bit of a wimp)

And I can still aspire to do great things in life and I can and will always have hope for a cure.

...I can do a lot of other things that I forgot to mention in this blog post, or just didn't mention for the purpose of not making this blog post too long!

-Ellie