Saturday, 8 March 2014

Lessons

Type one diabetes taught me a lot as a person, it teaches me things every day. For the last couple of years I had a big "diabetes burnout" and these are some of the more specific lessons I have derived from it. Even when I don't struggle so much and type one appears to be being nice to me, I still refer back to these things and know that they all come together to make one more person who believes they are stronger than type one.

I am still doing great with my blood sugars, I think this is the longest that I've kept up the routine of doing all that I am supposed to. I'm proud of myself for that; but in all honesty I feel proud of myself everyday just for dealing with this disease, even if I don't deal with it so great physically, mentally I feel like I have this. I can do it. Over the past couple of years of struggling a lot with type one, I learnt a lesson. The lesson is this: It's never going to be easy but it's all worth fighting for. It is so true. As type one diabetics we fight every single day to keep our blood sugars balanced, to stay out of hospital, to stay healthy, to stay alive; and this fight is not easy. It is never going to be a walk in the park with type one diabetes. So much affects blood sugar, stress, exercise, hormones, food, etc. But exactly as the quote says, fighting this disease is all so worth it, you learn to put a lot of effort into keeping the disease that can take so much, at bay. I feel like I had to change my attitude towards it slightly too...I have never had a negative attitude towards it so to speak, but for the last couple of years I feel as though I have possibly been taking the wrong approach.

We all take it three months at a time. Everyone works towards their Hba1c which is normally every three months. and so you vow to do great for the next three months until your hospital appointment. For me, that doesn't work and perhaps it really doesn't work for others either, especially those who struggle like I did, and still do at times. So I have learnt to take it one day at a time. It's less daunting that way; maybe that is part of why it's such a struggle to keep up with the routine? Three months is a long time and if you take it as one big chunk then it's going to be a big challenge. It's like the term "You bit off more than you can chew" So I learnt to take type one diabetes one day at a time. Think about it, it's 24 hours. Just make it through 24 hours with good blood sugars. Then when you wake up the next morning you vow to keep your blood sugars good that day and then make it through that 24 hours doing as you're supposed to. It all adds up, and before you know it the Hba1c test rolls round. It's worked for me to take it one day at a time, it really has.

I learnt how to accept help where it is needed. I needed it. I still do. I tried to do it all by myself, I tried to deal with the emotions associated with type one diabetes on my own sometimes. Bad choice. I found that doing this only made me feel more frustrated with everything diabetes-wise. Type one diabetes takes a toll on your emotions as well as your body. It's just the way it is. My mum and dad are my rock and I don't know what I would do with out them,  I love them with all my heart. I feel as though I tried to hide my feelings from them during my "diabetes burnout". I'm not sure why; it isn't because I didn't want their help because I did/do. It was perhaps because I just wanted them to see that I am stronger than type one, then I remembered that they already know that, of course they do...they tell me I'm strong and I show them everyday- I've learnt that letting out your emotions is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign that you are courageous enough to let yourself fall and trust that your family and friends are there to catch you. Love and support is everything. My parents and family are everything.

Hope. "A feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen" A life with type one diabetes would be even worse with out hope. Hope helps you stay positive. Everyone with type one diabetes lives in the hope of a cure; with hope that one day we will no longer have to deal with this disease.

-Ellie




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