Last night I came back into mine and my sister's room to find her standing on top of the bed flailing her arms around. Obviously perturbed by the sight I asked her what on earth she was doing and she swiftly replied "There is a giant mosquito in here and it bit me!" So now I'm thinking, oh Lord there is a flesh eating mosquito in the room. Anyway, I thought about it and realised that it was one of those devil creatures that go by the name of a cranefly. I have nothing but bad thoughts about those things.
Last summer a really huge one flew into my mum's hair and it was so horrifying- it was absolutely gigantic. Anyway, I hadn't seen the cranefly yet so I took cover under my blanket and thought I'd cry to everyone on Twitter- then they thought they'd make me feel better by telling me I should sleep with my mouth shut and that I should "watch out for those ones, all ghostly" It's okay guys, you never fail to make me laugh, Scott and GG to name a few.
My sister and I turned off all the lights in the hope that it would settle down; turns out, it was attracted by the lights coming from our phones. I was sitting peacefully listening to my music when my sister slams her laptop screen shut and jumps on my bed...I was like "What?!" and she screeched "It flew in front of my computer screen!!" We got up and turned the light back on to try and find it, as soon as we turned the light on the beast began flying towards our faces so we both screamed and huddled into the corner of the room before making a break for it out into the hallway.
We stood outside for about three minutes deciding what to do and wondering where the monster had flown off to- so we looked around the room- nowhere. My heart was pounding, I am absolutely terrified of anything that flies. Then it was just my luck because I went back into the room and moved my blanket and there it was! Residing on my bed. I nearly passed out. I ran back outside and it jumped onto the floor of our bedroom. I screamed "Kill it!! Quick!!" my sister wouldn't do it so I grabbed the makeup bag and frantically threw it on the floor in an attempt to squash it. My sister said "I do not kill. I release" Yeah...right.
"You got it!" My sister was convinced that it had been squashed. Because we had made so much noise running around squealing my mum got out of bed and got angry because we had woken her up- whoops! She came into our room and said "What are you doing?!" and we replied "there is a cranefly in the room but we got it!" At least that's what we thought. My mum started going on a rave about how we had woken her up and she wants to sleep but we're making too much noise and that we should be asleep- Sorry Mum! Anyway, my sister said that we would scoop the cranefly corpse up in a tissue and throw it in the bin, she trailed back into the room and cautiously lifted up the makeup bag- there was no cranefly remains. Crap. It's gone again.
When I walked back into the room I stepped on a grape stalk from some grapes I had eaten when I was low the night before and my sister said "You stepped on it!" Now that freaked me out because I didn't have any socks or slippers on and if I had stepped on it, I felt it and I was ready to collapse from the sheer horror. So I started to wipe my feet on my sister's leg but she started shouting at me and said "Don't wipe your feet on me!! It's a grape stalk!!" Oh...I was still freaked out so I rubbed my feet on her bed instead.
My mum went back to bed and my sister and I hesitantly went back into the room- my sister was saying to me "Get out of the doorway so I can shut the door and turn on the light again!" No. I was not going to face that devil creature again, so I ran into the bathroom hoping my sister would take care of it herself. Obviously not. I got back to find her laying in bed in the dark "It will settle down with the lights off, hopefully it will be attracted to the light downstairs if we leave the door open" Okay...so I lay in bed- but it made me feel all tingly so I kept brushing my legs and my arms off and flapping my blanket around to make sure it hadn't found a home in my bed covers.
About five minutes later my sister was half-asleep (I don't know how she falls asleep so quickly) Then I started to feel low but I was too afraid to turn on my meter and possibly attract the devil itself so I just ate a glucose tablet in the hope that I wouldn't die in the middle of the night. Actually, it was already about 2 am by this point so I thought I'd be okay, besides I wasn't expecting myself to get any sleep last night. So, I was left laying awake, freaked out by the cranefly and experiencing a possible low blood sugar.
Turns out I managed to fall asleep but I woke up at 5:30 am because number one, it was really hot and number two, I was really thirsty so I tested and my blood sugar was high. Clearly I mistook my fear over the cranefly for a low blood sugar. Whoopsies! Obviously the first thought that popped into my head was "Where is the fly?" but then I got distracted by the pretty sunrise and went to open the window and there it was! It was sitting on the window in all it's ugliness.
I took a picture of it, tweeted about it and then pushed the window wide open in the hope that it would fly off. I pulled the blinds right down and I even put my flip-flops either side of the blinds to stop the wind blowing them around and giving the cranefly an opportunity to fly back into the room. I fell asleep again and ended up waking up at about 11 am, with a blood sugar of 2.8 mmol. I am exhausted.
So ladies and gentleman, the moral of the story is, don't get freaked out over a cranefly- because diabetes clearly doesn't like it. And as you all may have guessed, it didn't eat me in the middle of the night- just nearly killed me :-) happy days!
I'm kidding, I'm so afraid of anything that flies. Especially wasps and bees. Put me in a plane with a wasp and a parachute- I would jump out of the plane.