There I was at 1 am last night, battling a blood sugar of 2.7 mmol. It was atrocious. Not only was I exhausted but I was shaking and I was sweating. Sweating when you aren't even hot is not nice! I was almost, uncomfortable in my hypoglycemic self. Laying on my bed, basically feeling like death and all I wanted to do was sleep.
But I couldn't.
No, I couldn't fall asleep or forget that I was having a low blood sugar because that night was yet another pain-staking reminder that I am and always will be a Type One Diabetic.
It was dark in the room and I was resting my head in my arms because I was trembling so much from my blood sugar it was almost hard to keep still. I couldn't see anything in the room, it was just dark in front of my eyes; the only light source came from my blood sugar meter; even that didn't stay illuminated for long. The green glow beamed from underneath the duvet which was crumpled at the end of my bed, the duvet that should have been wrapped around me as I slept.
I wasn't asleep, and when I looked to my left I could see that my sister was. She was fast asleep and I was stuck in the midst of the darkness cramming bread and glucose tablets into my mouth in a desperate attempt to raise my blood sugar. Then I waited.
And I lay there, eyes wide open. Waiting and waiting. Trying not to fall asleep where a coma could find me. And I can't help but wonder, will diabetes win this time? Will I manage to keep my exhaustion at bay so I could get myself through the night?
Finally fifteen minutes rolled around after what felt like an eternity. I pricked my finger and drew out the blood for the third time in an hour. Finally, 6.8 mmol. I could sleep.
Yes I had managed to get my blood sugars up - it seems like it's over now, right? Although the sweating and the shaking are merely a memory. My thoughts stayed. ALL I could think about was "what if I go low again?"
I hate low blood sugars during the night.
I finally fell asleep last night at around 2:30 am.
And I woke up this morning greeted by the sun light streaming in through the gaps in the blind. And I tell you now, I SMILED.
I smiled at the fact that last night was a struggle but I got through it and woke up this morning.
Diabetes didn't win. I won.